Trust – On The Importance Of The Therapeutic Relationship


If you are thinking about seeking psychological counseling or therapy, sooner or later a crucial question will arise: Who can I confide in?

Trust is not only created through words. As important as the method used and the specialist knowledge of the consultant are, it is ultimately the human relationship between you and your counterpart that has a decisive influence on the success of the consultation. Trusting contact, genuine understanding and an open attitude are the basis for you to open up and make inner change processes possible.

In this context, experts speak of rapport, a term that describes the harmonious, trusting connection between counselor and patient or client. But you don’t need to know this term to recognize whether this connection is there for you. You will feel it. In this article, alternative practitioner Karin Schmoldt, shows you what you can look out for and how you can tell whether you feel you are in good hands with a consultant.

Your first gut feeling counts

Even at first contact, be it on the phone when reading a website or during your first personal conversation, you intuitively perceive: “Do I feel comfortable here?”, “Can I trust this person?”
Even before the actual exchange begins, your body registers many subtle signals from your counterpart:

• Body language
• Facial expressions and gestures
• Voice and tone of voice
• The way you are met

If these signals are consistent, you will develop an initial feeling of security and openness. This is an important basis for being able to really get involved in the consulting process later on. Pay attention to your gut feeling. It is a valuable compass

How to recognize a helpful relationship

Whether a consultation is helpful is not determined by explanations or the number of methods used, but by how you experience yourself during the conversation. Typical signs of a sustainable relationship:

• You feel seen and heard Your thoughts and feelings are given space.
• You experience appreciation and openness. There is nothing you have to hide or justify.
• You feel safe. You are allowed to be who you are, nothing is forced.

Why this connection is so important

Good advice is about much more than tips or techniques. It’s about creating a space in which you can:

• Look at your issues openly,
• develop new perspectives,
• get back in touch with your own strengths and solutions.

This is only possible if you really feel safe and accepted in the relationship. As the well-known psychotherapist Irvin D. Yalom puts it succinctly: “It is the relationship that heals.” Such an atmosphere is created when the consultant meets you with:

• genuine interest
• empathy
• respect and
• an authentic attitude

What you can sense in the conversation

It is not the external characteristics or certificates alone that decide, but the experience you have in contact. Questions you can ask yourself after an initial conversation:

• Do I feel understood?
• Do I have the impression that my concerns are being taken seriously?
• Do I feel that I don’t have to pretend or hide anything?
• Can I imagine opening up further here?

If you can answer these questions in the affirmative, you have found a framework that can accompany you on your journey.

Conclusion

Deciding to undergo counseling or therapy is an important step. It is equally important to find the right person and the right setting for you. After all, the quality of the therapeutic relationship is the foundation on which development and change grow. Trust your instincts. It will show you where you feel safe and understood and where you can confide with a clear conscience.